he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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