good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
