i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize