She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So vagazzling was a success
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
