operation harelip BJ is a go
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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