You work out of a Hotel?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
