Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize