Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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