Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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