At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
