he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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