whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
wow bdsm is so cute
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
