He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
