she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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