I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
