I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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