We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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