We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
