I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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