Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
