I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize