Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
