you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
