batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Randomize
