tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
