A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My bed smells like the plague
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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