I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
