Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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