is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
