I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
