Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My bed smells like the plague
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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