But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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