Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
