I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
