Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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