No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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