i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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