he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
