I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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