The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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