He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
