I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
