I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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