please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
