so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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