U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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