She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
