She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You left your phone here
Wait...
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