We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
