Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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