am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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