Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
