please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
