don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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