well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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