and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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