I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
